Listening in a new way

Reader -- I’ve been thinking about the stories we carry in our closest relationships.

With a partner: He never really supports me.

With a sibling: She’ll always be the critical one.

With a colleague: They don’t value what I bring.

Do you have some of these stories too?

At some point, these stories may have felt true. They helped us explain the tension, protect ourselves, and keep the relationship predictable. But over time, living in storyville leaves us stuck in the past — blind to who’s really in front of us, and even to who we ourselves have become.

The way out is letting go of those old ways of seeing that no longer serve.

A Practice (inspired by Byron Katie’s The Work)

Identify a story you hold about someone close to you. For example: “She doesn’t really listen to me.”

1. Ask: Is it true?
2. Ask: Can you absolutely know it’s true?
3. Ask: How do you react when you believe that thought? Notice the tension in your body, the ways you shut down or fight back.
4. Ask: Who would you be (or how would you show up) without that thought? Feel the possibility that a different way of relating could exist right now.

A Group Opportunity (A Sacred Journey Into Intimacy)

That’s the heart of our Sacred Journey Into Intimacy, which Leslie Grace and I are leading again on Saturday, September 27.This will be our 6th cohort — and each one has shown how quickly relationships can shift when old stories fall away and new ways of speaking and listening take root.

Applications close September 18.

Blessings to you,

Ted

A Private Opportunity

Sometimes the hardest stories to let go of are the ones we tell ourselves: I have to hold it all together… I’m too much… It’s too late.

If you’re ready to step out of those old patterns and into a new way of living and loving, I’ll have space for one individual or one couple to begin private coaching with me in November.

To learn more, reach out to me by clicking my photo.

I get you. I’ve got you. Let’s go deeper.