How do you know if a relationship is truly nourishing you or quietly draining you?

Reader, this is a question worth asking, whether you’re just starting something new, deep in a long-term relationship, or wondering if it’s time to let go.

I’m in a marriage today that feels like a steady fire—warm, sustaining, ever-burning, ever-growing. But I’ve also been in relationships that felt more like a flickering flame; sometimes bright with promise, other times unstable and unpredictable.

And maybe you’ve been there too.

Some relationships fuel us. They bring more love, more energy, more of who we truly are. Others deplete us, leaving us questioning, adjusting, and wondering why things don’t quite feel right.

And sometimes, even a relationship that once fed us deeply begins to shift.

Whether you’re dating, in a committed partnership, or navigating the unknown, one question remains essential:

💡 What is happening to my energy in this relationship?

Love as an Energy Exchange

A thriving relationship isn’t about perfection; it’s about flow. Love, intimacy, connection are all exchanges of energy, attention, and care.

When that flow is balanced, there’s reciprocity. You give, you receive. You pour in, and your cup is also filled.

But sometimes, we find ourselves giving without return. Or receiving without truly showing up.

The best relationships—whether new or decades deep—require ongoing awareness and recalibration. If you’re feeling deeply fulfilled, celebrate and nurture it. If something feels off, lean in with curiosity.

Three Questions to Check In With Your Relationship

Whether you’re wondering if your relationship is right for you, or simply wanting to strengthen a love that is already strong, here are three guiding questions:

1. Am I being fed, or am I being drained?

🔥 Do I feel more alive, more creative, more of myself in this relationship?
🔥 Or do I feel exhausted, second-guessing, or constantly managing something?

If love feels like a homecoming, you’re in a good place. If it feels like hard labor with no reward, something needs attention.

2. Are my needs being met—and am I meeting theirs?

The strongest relationships honor the core needs of both people, not just surface desires, but what truly sustains love:

✅ Do I feel emotionally safe here?
✅ Do I feel seen and heard?
✅ Do I feel free to be my full self?

A great relationship isn’t just about what you get. It’s about what you give. Love thrives when both people feel held, valued, and supported.

3. Are we growing together or apart?

Every relationship moves through seasons: Times of closeness, times of distance, times of transformation.

The question isn’t whether your relationship has challenges, it’s whether those challenges lead to growth or disconnection.

✅ Are we working through challenges together?
✅ Is our connection deepening over time?
✅ Or are we slowly stepping further and further away?

If your relationship is good but struggling, this is an invitation to reignite the connection, rather than let it fade.

If your relationship always takes more than it gives, it might be time to reevaluate what’s truly in alignment with your soul.

If You Stay—Stay Fully. If You Leave—Leave With Integrity.

Whether you decide to deepen your relationship or let it go, clarity is the most loving choice you can make.

✨ If you stay, stay fully. Reignite the connection. Name what needs to shift. Go all in.​
✨ If you leave, leave with integrity. Not in blame or avoidance, but in gratitude for what was and honesty about what no longer is.

Your Invitation

No matter where you are in your relationship journey, take a moment to ask yourself:

❤️ Am I being fed, or am I being drained?​
❤️ Are we growing together or growing apart?​
❤️ What is one small shift I can make to bring more depth, love, and clarity into my relationship—starting today?

Because love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person, again and again.

And that begins with how we nourish (and allow ourselves to be nourished) in love.

With abundant love for you,​
Ted

P.S. If you're questioning the future of your current relationship, check out my YouTube video below:

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Join me and Leslie Grace

for our 4th relationship-changing

journey for couples

1. Group Prep, Training and Intention-setting call
2. One full day of heart-opening magic
3. Group Integration call

Click the image below for more information. And, to clarify, I'll be co-facilitating this program with my colleague Leslie Grace, not to be confused with my wife Leslie, though she'll be there too.