Reader

Have you ever experienced sharing something important or emotional, only to feel completely misunderstood or unseen by your loved one? Maybe you wanted empathy, but received unsolicited advice instead. Or perhaps you sought guidance, but all you got was silent nodding.

These frustrating moments occur when there's a mismatch between what we need and what we're receiving. Fortunately, there's a simple but powerful way to overcome this disconnect: clarity.

When someone shares a story or emotion, you generally have three powerful ways to respond:

Listening – Truly hearing them without planning your response. Being empathetic and fully present.
Problem-solving – Providing practical advice or solutions when explicitly asked for help.
Coaching – Asking insightful questions to help the speaker access their own wisdom and solutions.

Misunderstandings arise when we assume rather than clarify what's needed. To build better connections, shift from unspoken expectations to clear agreements. Before diving into emotional conversations, simply ask:

"How can I support you best right now? Do you need me to listen, problem solve, or coach?"

And if you're the one sharing, try explicitly naming what you need:

"I just need you to listen right now," or "I'd really love your advice," or even "Can you coach me through this?"

I get that this can feel awkward. And, truthfully Leslie sometimes gives me "that look" when I ask what she's needing in these moments. However, 9 times out of 10, it aligns us and makes everyone's experience better.

Here's your experiment, Reader : In your next meaningful conversation, clearly state your needs upfront and invite the same from others. Watch how your conversations deepen and connections flourish.

Let me know how it goes—I’d love to hear from you!

With abundant blessings,

Ted

Are You Ready to Go Deeper?

I have ONE opening for either a single person or a couple in April. Are you ready to be seen and supported like never before? Are you ready to finally break through to a bigger experience of life? Simply reply to this email and let's talk.

More Ways to Work With Me:

A Sacred Journey Into Intimacy

Leslie Grace and I are offering our 4th Sacred Journey Into Intimacy.

This journey is perfect for couples who:

Crave a deeper, more electrifying connection.
Want to reignite passion and rekindle emotional closeness.
Are navigating a life transition (marriage, parenthood, career shifts) and want to remain deeply bonded.
See intimacy as a sacred, expansive practice.
Are curious about exploring a new way to love, beyond words and into sensation.

Click the image below for more information or reply to this email and let's set up a call:

The Wisdom Circle - SF

I'm expanding The Wisdom Circle into San Francisco. After running 5 cohorts of TWC in Redwood City, I've been asked to bring this powerful experience to San Francisco. Beginning in June, I'll host TWC at Alchemy Springs once a month on Sunday mornings and once a month online. (In July, I'll start a new TWC in Redwood City as well). Applications will be available soon. If you're interested in learning more, please reply to this email.

FireLight 2025

My wife, Leslie, and I are thrilled to offer group coaching sessions at FireLight 2025 in Medocino in June. Come join us for a magical weekend. Click on the image below for more information.

For more on the topic of communication, see my new video below