What’s Blocking Your Intimacy? And How to Move Beyond It.
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Hi Reader Let’s talk about intimacy. Not the kind you see in movies—the effortless, passion-filled connection where two people just get each other. That’s a fantasy. Real intimacy? It’s something else entirely. It’s the ability to be fully seen, not just in the good moments but in the messy, uncertain, and vulnerable ones too. And for most of us, that’s where things get tricky. Because we’ve all learned to hide. We hide parts of ourselves to fit in, to be accepted, to avoid rejection. We build walls—some we’re aware of, others so ingrained they feel like second nature. And yet—we ache for more. So what’s stopping us from having it? The Four Hidden Blocks to Intimacy After years of working with individuals and couples, I’ve found that most intimacy struggles boil down to four key blocks. These aren’t just relational challenges—they’re deeply ingrained patterns that shape how we connect (or don’t). Take a moment to see which of these feels familiar to you: 1. The ‘Armored Heart’ We’ve all been hurt before, and whether we realize it or not, we carry those wounds forward. We keep a little distance, protect ourselves, stay a step removed—just in case. 🔹 Do you struggle to let people in, even when you crave closeness? Breakthrough Practice: Next time you feel the urge to pull away, pause. See if you can stay just a little longer. Notice the discomfort, breathe into it, and remind yourself: Not every past wound belongs in the present moment. 2. The ‘Perfect Self’ Illusion Somewhere along the way, we learn that love is conditional—that we have to be a certain way to be lovable. So we edit ourselves. We present the version we think people want. But here’s the thing: intimacy can’t grow where we aren’t real. 🔹 Do you hold back your struggles, wanting to appear ‘put together’? Breakthrough Practice: Ask yourself, Where am I filtering myself in relationships? Then, challenge yourself to share one truth you’d normally keep hidden. 3. The Fear of Being "Too Much" Maybe you’ve been told that your emotions are too much—that your joy is too big, your grief too deep, your anger too loud. Or maybe you’ve felt like you’re never enough—not smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough. Either way, it creates the same pattern: you shrink. 🔹 Do you hesitate to express your emotions because you fear being judged? Breakthrough Practice: Next time you feel yourself shrinking, pause and challenge the thought. What if your full expression is exactly what’s needed for deeper connection? 4. The Comfort of Distance Sometimes, we think we want intimacy—but when it comes down to it, keeping a little distance feels… easier. Safer. Maybe we don’t start deep conversations. Maybe we focus on logistics instead of emotions. Maybe we stay busy so we never have to sit in the discomfort of true closeness. 🔹 Do you and your partner mostly talk about schedules, not feelings? Breakthrough Practice: Try slowing down. Instead of rushing past moments of connection, linger. Ask a deeper question. Make eye contact a little longer. Choose to lean in instead of pull away. Your Invitation to More Intimacy If any of these blocks felt familiar, you’re not alone. We all have areas where we struggle to fully open. But the good news? Intimacy isn’t hardwired—it’s a skill you can grow. That’s why I created the 3-Minute Intimacy Quiz—a simple tool to help you see where you naturally open and where you might be unconsciously holding back. ✨ Take the quiz HERE Because the first step to deeper intimacy is awareness. And from there? Anything is possible. With Abundant Love, Ready to explore what has been holding you back in intimacy? Book a no-strings-attached 30-minute call by clicking the photo below: A Special Request: Please support my work by subscribing to my new YouTube channel in the red box below:
Here's a video I released on Monday about some of these same 4 blocks to intimacy: |