Some of you knew me when I was hiding

Reader, this is for you when...

I know something about hiding.

In fact, some of you reading this knew me during years when I was hiding quite a bit of myself.

And while I’ve done a lot of work to change that, I still feel the pull sometimes.

There are moments when I’d rather keep something to myself than risk being misunderstood, judged, or rejected. When it feels easier to let someone see the version of me I know they’ll be comfortable with.

Sometimes I catch myself. Sometimes I don’t.

Showing myself is a muscle I have to keep exercising.

I don’t think I’m alone in this.

We learn pretty early which parts of ourselves are welcome and which might get us into trouble. We adapt. We become the person we think we’re supposed to be.

And while hiding may once have protected us, it can come at a tremendous cost.

In our relationships: The people we love may be right beside us, but there’s a distance we keep creating.

In our self-esteem: Every time we decide some part of us isn’t acceptable enough to be seen, we risk believing that story a little more ourselves.

In our vitality: It’s exhausting to keep managing what other people see.

And in our success: We hold back ideas, avoid difficult conversations, and don’t ask for what we want because being seen feels too risky.

I’ve experienced some of these costs myself. And I’ve seen them in the lives of so many people I’ve worked with.

Much of my work is dedicated to helping people move beyond these limits, to stop hiding and live more fully as themselves.

And my next offering is especially for men.

The Wisdom Circle Intensive, November 12–15 in the Santa Cruz Mountains.

For four days, I’ll be gathering men to explore where they’ve learned to hide, what it’s been costing them, and what might become possible if they didn’t have to keep doing it.

We’ll challenge one another. We’ll practice being honest about the places where we’re thriving and the places where we’re struggling.

And we’ll have time to be together beyond the practices. Over meals, in quiet moments, in conversations that continue long after a session ends.

I want the men who leave on Sunday to recognize where hiding has been holding them back, and to feel more empowered to live from their essence.

Not because they’ve become different men.

Because they’re more willing to let themselves be seen.

We already have a wonderful group gathering, and I’d love to welcome a few more.

You don’t need to have participated in The Wisdom Circle before or live nearby. You do need to be willing to look at yourself honestly and bring that same generosity to the other men in the room.

The Wisdom Circle Intensive​
November 12–15, 2026
Sacred Owl Land | Santa Cruz Mountains

If there’s a man in your life who might appreciate this experience, I’d be grateful if you’d share this with him.

And if you’re wondering whether it’s right for you, just reply. I’m happy to talk.

With love,
Ted

Other ways to work together

Sacred Journey Into Intimacy

Even in our closest relationships, there are parts of ourselves we hold back, sometimes without realizing it. Sacred Journey Into Intimacy, which I co-facilitate with Leslie Grace, invites couples to explore what they’ve been protecting, what they’ve been longing for, and what becomes possible when they allow themselves to be more fully seen by one another.

Private Coaching for Individuals and Couples

What parts of yourself have you learned to hide, and what has that cost you? In my private work with individuals and couples, we explore the patterns that keep you from living and loving as fully as you want, and practice bringing more of who you really are into your relationships and your life.