Why did this sting?

Reader,

Years ago, I was at a party with a woman I was dating. She ran into an old friend, who was excited to tell her that her boyfriend had a group of men in his life.

I remember that it stung a bit. I didn't have a group of men.

Almost immediately after that, I stepped into my first men's group, and I've since learned that when a man has other men in his life who really know him, it's not just good for him. It's good for the people who love him.

Think about it.

If a man is struggling in his marriage, who does he talk to?

Does he have men who will listen? Men who will ask him questions? Men who care enough to challenge him?

Or does he carry it all himself, perhaps expecting his partner to be his only source of emotional support?

Here's something I've learned.

Not every group of men helps men grow. Some simply reinforce one another's worst habits. Think "manosphere".

A good men's group doesn't exist to tell men they're right. It's a place where we call one another to become better men.

Sometimes a man needs to hear, "Your frustration makes sense. And I'm wondering what your part in this might be."

That's not always comfortable. But it's how we grow.

And when a man learns to be more honest, more accountable, and more present with other men, he has an opportunity to bring those qualities home.

Not less intimacy with his partner. More.

I think that's what I didn't understand at that party all those years ago. And today, I can't imagine my life without these men.

In two weeks, I'll be gathering with a group of men in the Santa Cruz Mountains for The Wisdom Circle Intensive, November 12–15.

Four days of practice, connection, challenge, and a lot of laughter. An opportunity to step away from everyday life and spend time with men who are committed to becoming better men, together.

If this speaks to you, or brings someone you love to mind, take a look.

​Learn more about The Wisdom Circle Intensive​

Blessings to you,

Ted