Ted Riter

Take a breath with me, Reader...this one is for you. There’s a line from an ancient Jewish text that I come back to when life gets noisy or unclear: “If not now, when?” (Avot 1:14) Midlife has a way of bringing everything to the surface. (And you get to define midlife however it fits your life.) It reveals the places we’ve been going through the motions… The ways we’ve been performing “good” while quietly starving for meaning. For many people, this shows up first in relationship. We love our...

Take a breath with me, Reader...this one is for you. It's December. The year is winding down. And everywhere you turn, someone is asking: What are your goals? What's your plan? What are you going to DO? But I want to ask a different question. Who are you choosing to be in the new year? Not: What are you going to accomplish? Not: What are you going to build or fix or finally get right? Who you choose to be shapes every relationship in your life... especially the one closest to you. What are...

Take a breath with me, Reader, this one matters. One of my favorite young men! Celebrating my stepson Elias's 21st birthday last weekend in New Orleans. This is a message for men — and for anyone who loves, works with, or is raising men.Partners, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends… this includes you too.Because...when men struggle, everyone around them feels the ripples. Lately there’s been a surge of conversation about what it means to be a man.Scott Galloway’s Notes on Being a Man has...

Reader, You know what happens when we go home for the holidays? We walk through that door and suddenly we’re twelve again. Our voice gets smaller. Our body tightens. The old role walks in before we do. And if we’re not careful, we bring our partner and our kids right into a dynamic that has nothing to do with the life we’ve actually built. Here’s the question: What if this year, you chose how you show up? You Get to Establish How You Show Up Not how they want you to show up. Not the way you...

What are you afraid of, Reader? Public speaking? Death? Maybe it’s something even deeper... being seen. You’ve spent years mastering the art of hiding behind success, humor, intellect, or performance...anything that keeps the world from seeing what’s real. But here’s the paradox: The mask you wear to feel safe is the very thing that keeps you from love, intimacy, and freedom. I see it all the time. Maybe you come to coaching wanting to break through your intimacy blocks. But the moment the...

Hi Reader, I’ve been having this conversation on repeat lately, so maybe it’s something that will resonate with you too. Couples, in seemingly loving relationships... Couples, who profess their love and care for each other... Couples, who are looking for answers... are being mean to each other. That’s certainly not their intention. When one is upset, she wants to “speak her truth.” He wants to “be seen.” But the way they’re doing it... the words they’re invoking... are abusive. Now that’s not...

Reader, Last week, I was in Israel and visited the Nova site — the place on October 7, 2023 where nearly 400 people were massacred while celebrating life, and where hundreds more were killed in the surrounding communities. Standing there, I felt the weight of lives cut short, and also the unbearable beauty of people who had come together simply to dance. The desert still holds their music. In that moment I remembered something I’ve known for years but keep forgetting: life is unimaginably...

Take a breath with me Reader… this one matters. Click photo for more information & registration A couple of weeks ago, I filled out an online relationship survey from one of the most trusted voices in the “relationship field” and discovered… my relationship is “broken”! What?!!! Then I dug a bit more and learned that all of the possible results gave the same message:"Your relationship is broken… and I have the solution." I don’t see relationships this way. Most of the time, nothing’s “wrong”…...

Hi Reader, It’s Labor Day weekend. Some of you are traveling, some of you are catching up on sleep, some of you are savoring the last bits of summer sun. In other words… this may or may not be the email you were planning to read. And that’s okay. I just want to plant a seed. In two weeks (September 14–18) we’ll gather for the next 5-Day Relationship Reset live on Zoom, with recordings and conversation in our private Facebook group. This Reset is all new. Even if you joined me in May, you’ll...