Ted Riter

Reader, You know what happens when we go home for the holidays? We walk through that door and suddenly we’re twelve again. Our voice gets smaller. Our body tightens. The old role walks in before we do. And if we’re not careful, we bring our partner and our kids right into a dynamic that has nothing to do with the life we’ve actually built. Here’s the question: What if this year, you chose how you show up? You Get to Establish How You Show Up Not how they want you to show up. Not the way you...

What are you afraid of, Reader? Public speaking? Death? Maybe it’s something even deeper... being seen. You’ve spent years mastering the art of hiding behind success, humor, intellect, or performance...anything that keeps the world from seeing what’s real. But here’s the paradox: The mask you wear to feel safe is the very thing that keeps you from love, intimacy, and freedom. I see it all the time. Maybe you come to coaching wanting to break through your intimacy blocks. But the moment the...

Hi Reader, I’ve been having this conversation on repeat lately, so maybe it’s something that will resonate with you too. Couples, in seemingly loving relationships... Couples, who profess their love and care for each other... Couples, who are looking for answers... are being mean to each other. That’s certainly not their intention. When one is upset, she wants to “speak her truth.” He wants to “be seen.” But the way they’re doing it... the words they’re invoking... are abusive. Now that’s not...

Reader, Last week, I was in Israel and visited the Nova site — the place on October 7, 2023 where nearly 400 people were massacred while celebrating life, and where hundreds more were killed in the surrounding communities. Standing there, I felt the weight of lives cut short, and also the unbearable beauty of people who had come together simply to dance. The desert still holds their music. In that moment I remembered something I’ve known for years but keep forgetting: life is unimaginably...

Take a breath with me Reader… this one matters. Click photo for more information & registration A couple of weeks ago, I filled out an online relationship survey from one of the most trusted voices in the “relationship field” and discovered… my relationship is “broken”! What?!!! Then I dug a bit more and learned that all of the possible results gave the same message:"Your relationship is broken… and I have the solution." I don’t see relationships this way. Most of the time, nothing’s “wrong”…...

Hi Reader, It’s Labor Day weekend. Some of you are traveling, some of you are catching up on sleep, some of you are savoring the last bits of summer sun. In other words… this may or may not be the email you were planning to read. And that’s okay. I just want to plant a seed. In two weeks (September 14–18) we’ll gather for the next 5-Day Relationship Reset live on Zoom, with recordings and conversation in our private Facebook group. This Reset is all new. Even if you joined me in May, you’ll...

Reader -- I’ve been thinking about the stories we carry in our closest relationships. With a partner: He never really supports me. With a sibling: She’ll always be the critical one. With a colleague: They don’t value what I bring. Do you have some of these stories too? At some point, these stories may have felt true. They helped us explain the tension, protect ourselves, and keep the relationship predictable. But over time, living in storyville leaves us stuck in the past — blind to who’s...

Hi Reader, A private retreat for a soon-to-be-married couple A few months ago, I met with a couple who’d been together just over seven years. They loved each other deeply. They’d done therapy. Read the books. They were committed to growth. But they kept getting pulled into the same loop: Small tensions that spiraled into shutdown, withdrawal, or disconnection. One of them finally said: “It’s like we’ve outgrown who we were... but we don’t know how to move forward.” And I said something I’ve...

Dear Reader, We live in a world obsessed with exposure. We call it truth-telling. We call it accountability. But far too often, it’s just shame dressed up as justice. We feel powerful when we spot someone else’s flaws. We feel righteous when we share a meme about another person’s failure. We feel united when we laugh with the crowd. But we rarely pause to ask… What is the impact of our gaze? And what does it cost us...and them? The Talmud doesn’t mince words: “One who humiliates another in...